Top Ten Things Posh Tories Heart About Chinese Communists

10. Strong tradition of keeping it all in the family.

9. Generous support for struggling UK private school sector.

8. Juicy deals not conditional on participation in foreign wars (unlike some countries one could mention).

7. Modern, go-ahead approach to media regulation.

6. Renminbi much better currency for UK than rubbish Euro.

5. No-nonsense attitude to trouble-makers in far provinces.

4. More respect for Royal Family than Corbyn.

3. That opium thing all forgiven and forgotten (well, one assumes so, doesn’t one?)

2. Enlightened views on pigs.

1. Utter rejection of socialist values.

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