10. Large part of UK economy dependent on online Europhobic rants.
9. Replacement of UK passport by EU passport means ‘immigration’ reduced to zero at a stroke!
8. UK can shelter under French nuclear umbrella, after Corbyn ditches Trident.
7. Will avert plumbing crisis in London.
6. Those straight bananas really are much tastier than the bendy ones.
5. Last-minute British opt-out on cake secured! More gâteau, anyone? Battenberg?
4. Will result in historic Sun headline: ‘Up yours, Nige!’
3. Churchill*, Thatcher† and Heath‡ all said Britain must share sovereignty in Europe.
2. Makes Cameron look like a proper statesman.**
1. Nine out of ten bankers agree.
(*Ron Churchill, Sidcup. †Doris Thatcher, Kettering. ‡Ted Heath, former Tory leader.)
(**In comparison to Boris.)